I’ve written and never published posts about my Real Food Weight Loss Journey. I try and keep the blog posts here inspirational and about ideas to nourish your family and I just haven’t felt that my personal weight loss journey fits into that genre. But – the past week or so I’ve been composing a post in my head (that’s where they all start after all!) and so I started typing and hope that what I’m going to share with you will inspire you in one way or another.
Lets Begin…
Ok. I don’t even know where to begin! Firstly let me say that right now, at this moment I’m FAR from my ideal/goal weight, I easily fall into the “obese” category on those dreaded BMI Charts and I’ve gotten to the point where I just feel enough is enough. I need to stop making excuses and start focusing on ME and on working towards a weight that fits me better.
Before I go on, let me clarify a few things. I don’t aim to be “skinny” – I have never been “skinny”, I just want to be a “healthy” weight for my height and that is a good 20kgs/44 pounds from where I am now. Oh and that’s another thing – I haven’t stepped on a scale since about April of this year.
I made the conscious decision that the scale is just a number which sends me on a roller coaster of emotions and I’d prefer not know what that little number is. I’d prefer to feel it in my clothes and see it when I look in the mirror. So – you won’t be getting any “hooray, I’ve lost 5kg updates”, instead you’ll be getting “hooray, I fit into my clothes easier” updates! I hope you understand.
I haven’t gone into much detail about my personal weight loss struggles before – aside from in my head… but then you can’t read my mind, so I’ll try and quickly bring you up to speed on my weight loss journey to date…
My Dieting Beginning
As a chubby child, my parents took me to see dietitians from a young age to help me lose weight. From the age of 9 I’ve been on and off every diet you can imagine. My problem is simple though – I just love food and feel little to no guilt while enjoying a good meal.
Instead afterwards I feel crap, ashamed and embarrassed when I don’t fit into the clothes I would like to or look how I would like to look. It sounds really simple just writing that down but it’s caused me YEARS of frustration of going on and off and on and off diets.
I’ve had a number of successes along the way. Been on one diet, lost a load of weight then go “off” the diet, maintain it for a little while before putting it all back on again – “with interest” as they say.
Pregnancy #1
The heaviest I have ever been in my life was just before I fell pregnant with my now 5 year old. Thankfully I fell pregnant really easily despite being scarily obese and through my pregnancy I ate better than I had eaten my whole life. I was frightened to put on too much weight and cause any harm to my unborn child. So, I ate very healthily through my pregnancy (or at least what I thought was healthy at the time) and thankfully had zero complications through my pregnancy and my son was born healthily and remains a healthy, happy boy.
A couple of months after my son was born, I joined weight watchers (for the umpteenth time!) and I actually STUCK to it for a whole year and lost a whopping 26 kgs (57 pounds).
Pregnancy #2
Precisely a year to the date after joining Weight Watchers I discovered I was pregnant with my 2nd son. I quit weight watchers and counting points and proceeded to eat like a crazy person through my 2nd pregnancy. I put back on 16 of those 26 kgs, so re-joined weight watchers with the hope of losing it again. It didn’t quite work the 2nd time around and I spent a few months staying the same weight before I threw in the weight watchers towel for good.
Discovering Real Food…
The next 2-ish years I went on and off a couple of different diets (usually low fat) until I discovered the world of Real Food and eating whole, nourishing foods, full of good fats and unprocessed ingredients.
It all made such complete sense to me, and still does. Eating the way my ancestors ate just feels “right”. I don’t like to think of myself on a diet and I don’t tend to feel guilty about the food I eat. In fact I feel that I actually have a good relationship with food.
Problem is, since discovering real food, my weight loss has stalled. I feel healthy, but I don’t feel comfortable in my jeans.
So, that’s where I am at right now. A place where I have to work out what I need to do to get to a weight that I feel comfortable with.
I don’t want to go “on” a diet, just to go “off” it. I want to eat in a way which I can sustain. I want to enjoy my food and feel comfortable in my clothes.
Why Now?
The past couple of weeks I have a renewed inspiration to work harder at achieving my weight loss goals. I’d really love to share videos with you, videos about how I prepare food for my kids, pack their lunch boxes etc. But I just don’t feel comfortable in front of the camera.
Of course I’d also love to be a role model for my kids. To practice what I preach about eating a nourishing, whole foods diet and enjoying treats sometimes… not all the time.
What Now?
I know I need to stop making excuses and move more, find time to do more exercise.
I don’t plan on turning this blog into a weight loss blog, but I will check in every month to let you know how I’m going, what’s working and how I’m feeling.
This dress is how I will be measuring my “success”. It’s a dress I bought towards the end of my 26kg weight loss and one which I would LOVE to get into once again.
I tried it on the other day and yes, I can get it on me, BUT I can’t close the zip and I’m kind of squished into it, rather than it flowing and fitting comfortably. I’m hoping in time to bring you a photo of me in this dress, feeling fantastic – and that’s what I’m aiming for. Not a number on a scale…
Reading back through this it is a little raw and un-edited, but I’m going to be keeping it that way and I hope you understand. I feel relieved to have finally shared my journey to this point with you and I feel motivated for the next step and sharing it with you.
Thank you for reading about my journey and I hope I have inspired you somehow on your journey.
